11:41 am - Faye Fenikkusu
This issue, we discuss a dismal truth -- that you are destined to be alone forever. Furthermore, we cover important dating tips (not that they'd help, since you're destined to be alone forever), how to LOSE a Hex guy or girl in ten days (again, not terribly helpful, since you're destined to be alone forever) and the extreme difficulty involved in making chocolate-covered strawberries (eh, I guess this'd help a bit).
And, to create a startling climax, we have discovered a new star and your astrological sign will never be the same! Read it all and more at Hex's #1 source for trufax news!
If you have any questions or concerns about the content of this issue or publication in general, please owl myself, or one of the moderators in charge of publications: Theny, Tori Tendleswift, or Aiden Jakorr. Thank you and enjoy! :D