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Roleplay Teaching Center Roleplaying 101: Providing Feedback



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Glitter Blood
Hufflepuff
My programming prevents me from injuring a human being.
5th year Witch
Status: Online
Age: 21
Posts: 29,398


March’s task is designed to help you become acquainted with feedback. While we may not all be role-playing mentors, thinking about how we critique a role-play post will help to be better role-players!

So first off, what should feedback focus on? On Hex, we focus less on grammar and spelling, and more on world-building, character development, descriptions, and interaction.

To recap, world building is how the universe the characters are in is portrayed. Are the details clear? Can you imagine the world in your mind?

Character development is based on who a character is. Characters should have depth and have a story. A character should not be perfect and have both flaws and strengths. The way the character is portrayed should be interesting and unique.

For description, it is important to focus on showing, not just telling. The reader should be able to clearly see what is happening, and wording should not be repetitive.

Finally, interaction is the heart of roleplaying. It is what keeps the story moving, and furthers the plot. We suggest responding to at least three elements of previous posts (such as thoughts, dialogue or actions) and providing at least three places that your partner can respond.


Task
For this task, you are to read the following role-play post, and provide feedback. Please include at least one suggestion each for world-building, character development, description, and interaction. Each suggestion must be at least two sentences, not including quotes to qualify for prizes.

Quote:
Chase rushed down the hallway, his heart beating so fast he could hear it in his ears. The coffee he held in his grasp swished out of the cup with each step, scalding his skin and dripping down his sleeve.

He ducked into the first hiding spot he could find and paused to catch his breath, still exposed. Moments later, an enormous, thunderous rawr terrified him. The footsteps of the mystery creature were pounding, growing louder and louder. Louder means closer Chase thought, trying to keep his wits about him.

Mustering his courage, Chase peered around the corner, crouching his slim figure low to the ground to stay hidden. He didn’t see anything, so he made a brave move, pushing himself to sprint for cover. Chase fell with a tumble, knocking into a trashcan on the side of the road as he went down“What on Earth? “ He shouted instinctually, assessing himself.

“Oh god!” He let out, realizing he’d run right into someone, dousing them in scalding hot coffee. “Are you alright?” He whispered, lowering his voice.

Before Chase could figure out what was happening, he was staring down the giant grey-blue horn of an erumpent towering in front of him. The thundering creature turned its head, as though it heard his thoughts. “Oh god, I hope I’m dreaming,” He muttered, his hazel eyes locking with the creature.



Rules
1. All HEX and RPC Teaching Center rules apply to this contest.
2. All entries should be posted in this hidden reply thread
3. All work must be your own work.
4. To qualify for a prize, you must complete the task provided and include all four elements with two or more sentences for each.
5. Winners will be randomized among all eligible entries.
6. All entries are due by March 15th at 11:59 p.m. HEX time.
7. If you have any questions, please post them in this thread or owl Beth.


Prizes
1st: 750 HP
2nd: 500 HP
3rd: 300 HP



[color=white]Edited by Cait
 

Social Butterfly
Social Butterfly
Muggle Born
Slytherin
It's your local nonbinary pal! (please be my friend)
1st year Wix
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Age: 23
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//removed entry -Cait

Edited by Cait
 

Ultimate Hufflepuff
Ultimate Hufflepuff
Muggle Born
Hufflepuff
make someone smile every day ^_^
4th year Witch
Status: Offline
Age: 25
Posts: 28,087
I've been meaning to do this, but every time I don't because I'm not sure what exactly every one of the elements means/includes >.<
Is there a description somewhere for each of them, explaining what they mean? For example, what does character development mean in the scope of one post?
 

Account Officer
Jr. Caretaker
Magical Archivist
RPC Moderator
TC Moderator
Badger Brigade
Nicky's Noble Steed
Quidditch Queen
Sassy's Amor
Caffinated Chemist
Account Officer - Jr. Caretaker - Magical Archivist - RPC Moderator - TC Moderator - Badger Brigade - Nicky's Noble Steed - Quidditch Queen - Sassy's Amor - Caffinated Chemist
Glitter Blood
Hufflepuff
My programming prevents me from injuring a human being.
5th year Witch
Status: Online
Age: 21
Posts: 29,398
@callen8black I would recommend using this as your basis

Quote:
Character development is based on who a character is. Characters should have depth and have a story. A character should not be perfect and have both flaws and strengths. The way the character is portrayed should be interesting and unique.

For description, it is important to focus on showing, not just telling. The reader should be able to clearly see what is happening, and wording should not be repetitive.

Finally, interaction is the heart of roleplaying. It is what keeps the story moving, and furthers the plot. We suggest responding to at least three elements of previous posts (such as thoughts, dialogue or actions) and providing at least three places that your partner can respond.



Is that what you were meaning, or were you looking for more of an example?
 

Ultimate Hufflepuff
Ultimate Hufflepuff
Muggle Born
Hufflepuff
make someone smile every day ^_^
4th year Witch
Status: Offline
Age: 25
Posts: 28,087
Yes, exactly! Thank youuuu <3
I'll try to do this after work ^_^
 

Mixed Blood
Ravenclaw
2nd year Witch
Status: Offline
Age: 56
Posts: 10,311
When you say, ‘please include at least one suggestion each for world-building, character development, description, and interaction.’ Do you mean point out where areas could be improved, or point out what is wrong with the post, using the aforementioned points.
I hope this makes sense.
 

Account Officer
Jr. Caretaker
Magical Archivist
RPC Moderator
TC Moderator
Badger Brigade
Nicky's Noble Steed
Quidditch Queen
Sassy's Amor
Caffinated Chemist
Account Officer - Jr. Caretaker - Magical Archivist - RPC Moderator - TC Moderator - Badger Brigade - Nicky's Noble Steed - Quidditch Queen - Sassy's Amor - Caffinated Chemist
Glitter Blood
Hufflepuff
My programming prevents me from injuring a human being.
5th year Witch
Status: Online
Age: 21
Posts: 29,398
@GildaGlen you should point out areas for improvement, and maybe give suggestions to go along with it. Does that make sense?
 

Mixed Blood
Ravenclaw
2nd year Witch
Status: Offline
Age: 56
Posts: 10,311
Yes, thank you for the quick response @BiologicallyBeth
 

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