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Roleplay Teaching Center Roleplaying 101: Providing Feedback



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Glitter Blood
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March’s task is designed to help you become acquainted with feedback. While we may not all be role-playing mentors, thinking about how we critique a role-play post will help to be better role-players!

So first off, what should feedback focus on? On Hex, we focus less on grammar and spelling, and more on world-building, character development, descriptions, and interaction.

To recap, world building is how the universe the characters are in is portrayed. Are the details clear? Can you imagine the world in your mind?

Character development is based on who a character is. Characters should have depth and have a story. A character should not be perfect and have both flaws and strengths. The way the character is portrayed should be interesting and unique.

For description, it is important to focus on showing, not just telling. The reader should be able to clearly see what is happening, and wording should not be repetitive.

Finally, interaction is the heart of roleplaying. It is what keeps the story moving, and furthers the plot. We suggest responding to at least three elements of previous posts (such as thoughts, dialogue or actions) and providing at least three places that your partner can respond.


Task
For this task, you are to read the following role-play post, and provide feedback. Please include at least one suggestion each for world-building, character development, description, and interaction. Each suggestion must be at least two sentences, not including quotes to qualify for prizes.

Quote:
Chase rushed down the hallway, his heart beating so fast he could hear it in his ears. The coffee he held in his grasp swished out of the cup with each step, scalding his skin and dripping down his sleeve.

He ducked into the first hiding spot he could find and paused to catch his breath, still exposed. Moments later, an enormous, thunderous rawr terrified him. The footsteps of the mystery creature were pounding, growing louder and louder. Louder means closer Chase thought, trying to keep his wits about him.

Mustering his courage, Chase peered around the corner, crouching his slim figure low to the ground to stay hidden. He didn’t see anything, so he made a brave move, pushing himself to sprint for cover. Chase fell with a tumble, knocking into a trashcan on the side of the road as he went down“What on Earth? “ He shouted instinctually, assessing himself.

“Oh god!” He let out, realizing he’d run right into someone, dousing them in scalding hot coffee. “Are you alright?” He whispered, lowering his voice.

Before Chase could figure out what was happening, he was staring down the giant grey-blue horn of an erumpent towering in front of him. The thundering creature turned its head, as though it heard his thoughts. “Oh god, I hope I’m dreaming,” He muttered, his hazel eyes locking with the creature.



Rules
1. All HEX and RPC Teaching Center rules apply to this contest.
2. All entries should be posted in this hidden reply thread
3. All work must be your own work.
4. To qualify for a prize, you must complete the task provided and include all four elements with two or more sentences for each.
5. Winners will be randomized among all eligible entries.
6. All entries are due by March 15th at 11:59 p.m. HEX time.
7. If you have any questions, please post them in this thread or owl Beth.


Prizes
1st: 750 HP
2nd: 500 HP
3rd: 300 HP



[color=white]Edited by Cait


Edited by BiologicallyBeth

 

Heir of Slytherin
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//removed entry -Cait

Edited by Cait
 

Ultimate Hufflepuff
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I've been meaning to do this, but every time I don't because I'm not sure what exactly every one of the elements means/includes >.<
Is there a description somewhere for each of them, explaining what they mean? For example, what does character development mean in the scope of one post?
 

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Glitter Blood
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@callen8black I would recommend using this as your basis

Quote:
Character development is based on who a character is. Characters should have depth and have a story. A character should not be perfect and have both flaws and strengths. The way the character is portrayed should be interesting and unique.

For description, it is important to focus on showing, not just telling. The reader should be able to clearly see what is happening, and wording should not be repetitive.

Finally, interaction is the heart of roleplaying. It is what keeps the story moving, and furthers the plot. We suggest responding to at least three elements of previous posts (such as thoughts, dialogue or actions) and providing at least three places that your partner can respond.



Is that what you were meaning, or were you looking for more of an example?

 

Ultimate Hufflepuff
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Ultimate Hufflepuff - D.O. Advocate
Muggle Born
Hufflepuff
make someone smile every day ^_^
4th year Witch
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Yes, exactly! Thank youuuu <3
I'll try to do this after work ^_^
 

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When you say, ‘please include at least one suggestion each for world-building, character development, description, and interaction.’ Do you mean point out where areas could be improved, or point out what is wrong with the post, using the aforementioned points.
I hope this makes sense.
 

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Glitter Blood
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@GildaGlen you should point out areas for improvement, and maybe give suggestions to go along with it. Does that make sense?

 

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Ravenclaw
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Yes, thank you for the quick response @BiologicallyBeth
 

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Glitter Blood
Hufflepuff
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Thanks to everyone who paricipated in this month's 101. The following users have earned a ticket to prize raffle

1. MxAthena
2. GildaGlen
3. Barbara Simcox
4. LadyDeSeis
5. Riverglen
6. DarkLordDaniel
7. Koumori72
8. Rainwen

You will have 24 hours to review this list before winners are drawn.



[color=white]Edited by BiologicallyBeth


 

Account Officer
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Trish's Squish
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Account Officer - Jr. Caretaker - Magical Archivist - RPC Moderator - Trish's Squish - Nicky's Noble Wife - Sassy's Amor - Katie's TC Guard
Glitter Blood
Hufflepuff
Away 25 May- 30 May
5th year Witch
Status: Offline
Age: 22
Posts: 32,124

Thank you all for your participation in March's Feedback 101! Without further ado, we have our winners!

1st: 750 HP - 5- Riverglen
2nd: 500 HP - 8-Rainwen
3rd: 300 HP- 1-MxAthena


Proof

Congrats again! House points will be awarded shortly!
@Riverglen @Rainwen @MxAthena



 

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Ravenclaw
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Congratulations to the Winners! 🎈

@BiologicallyBeth that was an interesting contest, I haven’t given feedback on a RP before, and I found it very thought provoking, and a bit difficult. Is it possible that you could provide feedback on the original post for comparison?
 

Mixed Blood
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Thanks for the points!
 

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Glitter Blood
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Quote: GildaGlen
Congratulations to the Winners! 🎈

@BiologicallyBeth that was an interesting contest, I haven’t given feedback on a RP before, and I found it very thought provoking, and a bit difficult. Is it possible that you could provide feedback on the original post for comparison?



So glad you found it interesting! I Can certainly work on a post for you of the type of feedback I would give within the next day or so for you

 

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Mixed Blood
Ravenclaw
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Thank you @BiologicallyBeth that is very kind of you. I think it will help me understand how to write RP’s better, and see how I can make my writing offer more to my partner/partners, as well as understanding if a RP is able to move forward. The Teaching Center is a fantastic place! 💕
 

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